I think I can finally see the surface of things. If you are confused, go back a couple of posts to my "drowning" blog.
I'm not sure what it is, but things are slowly getting better. Which, is a relief. I've been praying a lot lately. As in, more than usual. Things at work feel a lot better. Not 100% but it's better than what it has been. I've been able to plow through my to do lists and get a lot of big orders done and out of the way. I still have a lot to do. But, I'm starting to see the corner of my desk since the pile is slowly disappearing. I just hate doing EVERYTHING there. I have no help. It's okay sometimes since I work well by myself, but with everything that I have to do and then doing everything else, it's SO overwhelming. It's so hard to keep up with everything and do everything. Something has got to give.
It also helped that the sun was out practically all weekend. And, I wore flip flops when I wasn't working. It was nice! I had to paint my toenails though. That chore, clearly, should be left to the professionals. Up close, they look terrible, but in flip flops, they looked decent instead of what they did look like.
So, for now, things seem better. There is hope. And, as always, God is good!
Monday, February 21, 2011
Thursday, February 17, 2011
24 months
24 months ago, I experienced death for the first time. Sure, I knew people who passed and had great grandparents and great aunts pass, but this was the first time that anyone close to me had passed away. Sherry was an amazing woman and taught me everything that I know at my current job. If it wasn't for her, I wouldn't be so successful at it now and I wouldn't keep pushing on despite that drowning feeling I talked about in yesterday's blog. 2 years has passed. Sometimes, it feels like it's been 10 years. And others, it feels like I just got that 1 a.m. phone call yesterday. I look back and wonder what things would be like today if she was still here. Would business be doing even better than it is now? Would there be this much fighting and chaos in the office? And more importantly, what would I have learned from this amazing woman in these last 2 years? She taught me so much. She is someone that I will carry with me through my entire life. She didn't let cancer slow her down and she traveled everywhere she possibly could. I'm so glad that Israel was her last trip with her grandsons. It was the last thing she wanted to do before she died. She taught me to keep on keeping on. And for that, I'm thankful. I miss her terribly.
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
drowning
Have you ever gotten the feeling that you are drowning? Not literally. But just the feeling that you can't catch a break and you'll never catch up?
2 steps forward. 15 back.
It's become the story of my life.
I'm not sure what exactly causes it but I wish it'd go away. For once, I'd just like something to go MY way. I just wish God didn't trust me so much sometimes. And most of all, I wish the devil would get the heck out of my life and learn to leave well enough alone. I know things can't go my way though. They have to go God's way...according to God's big plan (which, I'm still patiently waiting to see what God has in store for me cause surely, it's got to get better than this, right? ok, maybe not.) God has big plans for us all and He chooses when to reveal them. Sometimes, it's all at once. Other times, it's in "teasers". And then the devil has to come meddling around where he don't belong. And then what happens? You get in this rut. Which is exactly where I've been for the last 3 months. Usually wallowing in self pity. Which causes me to stress. And my acne to flip out. And for me to have ugly and fat days. And...well, I'm sure you see where this is going. I'm sure you've been here, too, and I'm sure you have the welcome wagon ready. If not, when you get there, call me. I'll bring the welcome wagon.
I think it's a lack of faith that causes us to get like this. We think "Oh hey, I've got this. I'm running this show." and then you get this big ego and that's when satan swoops in and starts causing problems. I'm SO glad I have my Beth Moore bible study. It's helped me tremendously! Not to mention, it's been spring-like this week and winter is usually when I get stuck in these ruts. It's amazing what sitting in some sunshine can do. Have you ever just gone outside and sat down and looked up at the clear blue sky and just prayed? Talk about some good medicine for the soul! I need to do that more often. I always find such peace and I can't describe it.
I feel like life is that Tom Petty song "Learning to Fly" (I'm learning to fly, but I ain't got wings. Coming down is the hardest thing) Coming down is when we realize just how much we need God driving our lives. No one said it'd be easy. They just said it'd be worth it. And letting God be in control is totally worth it.
I'm going to end with a verse from Proverbs. That book is, by far, my most favorite book of the bible. Proverbs has the answers to everything that life brings to you.
"To man belong the plans of the heart, but from the Lord comes the reply of the tongue." Proverbs 16:1
2 steps forward. 15 back.
It's become the story of my life.
I'm not sure what exactly causes it but I wish it'd go away. For once, I'd just like something to go MY way. I just wish God didn't trust me so much sometimes. And most of all, I wish the devil would get the heck out of my life and learn to leave well enough alone. I know things can't go my way though. They have to go God's way...according to God's big plan (which, I'm still patiently waiting to see what God has in store for me cause surely, it's got to get better than this, right? ok, maybe not.) God has big plans for us all and He chooses when to reveal them. Sometimes, it's all at once. Other times, it's in "teasers". And then the devil has to come meddling around where he don't belong. And then what happens? You get in this rut. Which is exactly where I've been for the last 3 months. Usually wallowing in self pity. Which causes me to stress. And my acne to flip out. And for me to have ugly and fat days. And...well, I'm sure you see where this is going. I'm sure you've been here, too, and I'm sure you have the welcome wagon ready. If not, when you get there, call me. I'll bring the welcome wagon.
I think it's a lack of faith that causes us to get like this. We think "Oh hey, I've got this. I'm running this show." and then you get this big ego and that's when satan swoops in and starts causing problems. I'm SO glad I have my Beth Moore bible study. It's helped me tremendously! Not to mention, it's been spring-like this week and winter is usually when I get stuck in these ruts. It's amazing what sitting in some sunshine can do. Have you ever just gone outside and sat down and looked up at the clear blue sky and just prayed? Talk about some good medicine for the soul! I need to do that more often. I always find such peace and I can't describe it.
I feel like life is that Tom Petty song "Learning to Fly" (I'm learning to fly, but I ain't got wings. Coming down is the hardest thing) Coming down is when we realize just how much we need God driving our lives. No one said it'd be easy. They just said it'd be worth it. And letting God be in control is totally worth it.
I'm going to end with a verse from Proverbs. That book is, by far, my most favorite book of the bible. Proverbs has the answers to everything that life brings to you.
"To man belong the plans of the heart, but from the Lord comes the reply of the tongue." Proverbs 16:1
Wednesday, February 2, 2011
12 things to give up for just one day
Why hello there, blog world. It's me, Vicki. It's been a while since I wrote. Sometimes, I get on here at night and try to blog and nothing comes out. Sometimes, I get on here at night and I write out everything I want to say and simply delete it and it was purely to vent and scream at someone. And other times, I'm just too tired to write or, I'm sure you don't want to hear it.
While reading the new Glamour magazine I got in the mail today, I stumbled across a page titled:
"12 things to give up for just one day"
Let's study these, shall we?
1) "The headphones that blog out the entire-wow, is that what a bird sounds like?"
Obviously wouldn't apply to me. I don't understand people who listen to their iPod 24/7.
2) "Those wobbly heels, the full-body Spanx, the bag big enough to hold a small child-anything you wear that hurts!"
Not that I wear heels often, but how do people do that everyday? And the Spanx. DON'T BUY IT. It was the worst $75 I ever spent. I should put that in ebay or something. As for the bag, I've known to have a big bag in my day, but never a "Mary Poppins" bag (as I like to call them). You know, I have to admit, I live for days when I can wake up and not worry about having to straighten my hair and do my makeup. Those are some of my best days. If you haven't tried it, maybe you should.
3) "The second Jager Bomb. Actually, the first."
I don't do Jager Bombs so it's all good. Jager gets you tore up quick. It's bad. Real bad.
4) "Being so superwoman-y that you forget to even taste the lunch you're eating over your keyboard."
Now this is right up my alley. I can't tell you how many days a month...er...week that I rush through lunch and get back to work. I should move this to the top of my to-do list every day. I'm not superwoman. Someone needs to take the pink, sparkly cape away from me.
5) "Saying 'yes' when you're feeling 'no'"
Again, right up my alley. I need to add the word "NO" (and all forms it could be used in) to my vocabulary.
6) "Slouching. Also: Wallowing."
I slouch a lot while sitting, walking, sleeping, you name it. I should fix this. No one likes a hunchback. (Sorry, Disney) As for wallowing, I've been known to wallow in self pity. I try not to but I'm human and a young woman. It happens.
7) "Texting. Isn't your little sister's voice so nice?"
WHAT?! That's my main form of communication to the outside world. Giving up texting would result in a tragic outcome for me. BUT. Think of how nice it would be. One of these days, I'm going to turn off my phone and not use it at all. And no FB either. Going dark would be nice.
8) "Your fear of flying. Take a deep breath (and by "deep breath", we just might mean "Ambien") and go somewhere amazing."
This seriously blows my mind. I've been flying since I was 3 months old. I actually find flying quite relaxing. I'm just curious why people don't like flying? Thoughts?
9) "Processed foods. Just to prove you can."
This one intrigues me. I've heard of people doing it and losing a lot of weight. They don't eat fast food or anything out of a box. I'm going to do more research and get back to you on this...I think I may just try it one weekend.
10) "Procrastinating. And, no, you can't put that off till next month."
I'm the queen of this at work. I need to manage my time better so I can enjoy my lunch and snacks and not procrastinate.
11) "Rolling your eyes. Difficult, but extremely effective."
I'm SO guilty of this, especially at work. I usually walk in rolling my eyes.
12) "Your birth control. HAHA. WE KID."
My acne would be terrible if I did.
So, there you have it folks, a blog entry from yours truly. I'm going to try some of these and I'll report back with how they went.
"When you're struggling with something, look at all the people around you and realize that every single person is struggling with something, and to them, it's just as hard as what you're going through."
While reading the new Glamour magazine I got in the mail today, I stumbled across a page titled:
"12 things to give up for just one day"
Let's study these, shall we?
1) "The headphones that blog out the entire-wow, is that what a bird sounds like?"
Obviously wouldn't apply to me. I don't understand people who listen to their iPod 24/7.
2) "Those wobbly heels, the full-body Spanx, the bag big enough to hold a small child-anything you wear that hurts!"
Not that I wear heels often, but how do people do that everyday? And the Spanx. DON'T BUY IT. It was the worst $75 I ever spent. I should put that in ebay or something. As for the bag, I've known to have a big bag in my day, but never a "Mary Poppins" bag (as I like to call them). You know, I have to admit, I live for days when I can wake up and not worry about having to straighten my hair and do my makeup. Those are some of my best days. If you haven't tried it, maybe you should.
3) "The second Jager Bomb. Actually, the first."
I don't do Jager Bombs so it's all good. Jager gets you tore up quick. It's bad. Real bad.
4) "Being so superwoman-y that you forget to even taste the lunch you're eating over your keyboard."
Now this is right up my alley. I can't tell you how many days a month...er...week that I rush through lunch and get back to work. I should move this to the top of my to-do list every day. I'm not superwoman. Someone needs to take the pink, sparkly cape away from me.
5) "Saying 'yes' when you're feeling 'no'"
Again, right up my alley. I need to add the word "NO" (and all forms it could be used in) to my vocabulary.
6) "Slouching. Also: Wallowing."
I slouch a lot while sitting, walking, sleeping, you name it. I should fix this. No one likes a hunchback. (Sorry, Disney) As for wallowing, I've been known to wallow in self pity. I try not to but I'm human and a young woman. It happens.
7) "Texting. Isn't your little sister's voice so nice?"
WHAT?! That's my main form of communication to the outside world. Giving up texting would result in a tragic outcome for me. BUT. Think of how nice it would be. One of these days, I'm going to turn off my phone and not use it at all. And no FB either. Going dark would be nice.
8) "Your fear of flying. Take a deep breath (and by "deep breath", we just might mean "Ambien") and go somewhere amazing."
This seriously blows my mind. I've been flying since I was 3 months old. I actually find flying quite relaxing. I'm just curious why people don't like flying? Thoughts?
9) "Processed foods. Just to prove you can."
This one intrigues me. I've heard of people doing it and losing a lot of weight. They don't eat fast food or anything out of a box. I'm going to do more research and get back to you on this...I think I may just try it one weekend.
10) "Procrastinating. And, no, you can't put that off till next month."
I'm the queen of this at work. I need to manage my time better so I can enjoy my lunch and snacks and not procrastinate.
11) "Rolling your eyes. Difficult, but extremely effective."
I'm SO guilty of this, especially at work. I usually walk in rolling my eyes.
12) "Your birth control. HAHA. WE KID."
My acne would be terrible if I did.
So, there you have it folks, a blog entry from yours truly. I'm going to try some of these and I'll report back with how they went.
"When you're struggling with something, look at all the people around you and realize that every single person is struggling with something, and to them, it's just as hard as what you're going through."
Tuesday, November 9, 2010
blog fail
I seriously fail at this.
My "Chase the Lion" growth group is going as well as to be expected. It's small. Just me and 2 other couples...one of which, her husband usually isn't there because of work. I feel like a crappy leader because there isn't many people, but on the flipside, we are all really close and we've all really opened up to each other. It's nice!
Other than that, things are decent. Life is stressful. But what else is new? I'm not going to complain because that doesn't help anything. So, I'll just keep on keeping on. Surely it gets better than this and I'm sure there is some silverlining in this somewhere. It'll appear soon enough.
My "Chase the Lion" growth group is going as well as to be expected. It's small. Just me and 2 other couples...one of which, her husband usually isn't there because of work. I feel like a crappy leader because there isn't many people, but on the flipside, we are all really close and we've all really opened up to each other. It's nice!
Other than that, things are decent. Life is stressful. But what else is new? I'm not going to complain because that doesn't help anything. So, I'll just keep on keeping on. Surely it gets better than this and I'm sure there is some silverlining in this somewhere. It'll appear soon enough.
Saturday, October 16, 2010
Chasing Lions
No worries, I won't really be "chasing lions". I'm "leading" a new bible study at Growth Group at church. I'm terrifed because they didn't give us a "leader guide". Just the regular bible study book and said "here you go! have fun with it!" OH gee thanks. I'm used to teaching little 5 year old kids. Not leading a group of adults (all of which are older than I am) on a bible study. So, I'm a little afraid.
The bible study is called "Chase the Lion". It's about "stepping confidently into the unknown" and it's by Mark Batterson. He wants us to challenge the assumption that God wants our lives to be safe. Basically, we should live our life by taking risks for God. Step out boldly. Challenge the "lions" in our lives and learn from them and engage them instead of running away in fear and playing life "safe". Near the end of session one, he writes:
"Somehow our lives seem incomplete. Failing to take a risk is almost like losing the piece of a jigsaw puzzle of your life-it leaves a gaping hole. When we get to the end of our lives, our greatest regrets will be the missing pieces."
Pretty powerful, eh? He ends that part of the session with "In other words, the greatest regret at the end of our lives will be the lions we didn't chase". I don't think he is referring to not going sky-diving, the greatest trip of a life time, not buying the perfect shoes. No, I think he is talking about the forgiveness we never granted, the person we didn't help, not sharing God's word with the lost souls in our lives. The list goes on and on and on.
I hope to be able to blog about this along with the things in my life. I think it fits perfectly into the change I'm wanting and about to experience.
So, do you have any lions that you need to chase?
The bible study is called "Chase the Lion". It's about "stepping confidently into the unknown" and it's by Mark Batterson. He wants us to challenge the assumption that God wants our lives to be safe. Basically, we should live our life by taking risks for God. Step out boldly. Challenge the "lions" in our lives and learn from them and engage them instead of running away in fear and playing life "safe". Near the end of session one, he writes:
"Somehow our lives seem incomplete. Failing to take a risk is almost like losing the piece of a jigsaw puzzle of your life-it leaves a gaping hole. When we get to the end of our lives, our greatest regrets will be the missing pieces."
Pretty powerful, eh? He ends that part of the session with "In other words, the greatest regret at the end of our lives will be the lions we didn't chase". I don't think he is referring to not going sky-diving, the greatest trip of a life time, not buying the perfect shoes. No, I think he is talking about the forgiveness we never granted, the person we didn't help, not sharing God's word with the lost souls in our lives. The list goes on and on and on.
I hope to be able to blog about this along with the things in my life. I think it fits perfectly into the change I'm wanting and about to experience.
So, do you have any lions that you need to chase?
Tuesday, October 5, 2010
A fresh start
So, I've decided to make a fresh start with a new blog. Maybe with a new blog, I can write more. Or feel more compelled to write.
Things have changed in life and I couldn't be more excited. I'm going to be an aunt! Officially an aunt...not just one of my friends whose kids call me aunt Vicki. Not that I think any less of those that do! The joy this brings to my heart simply can't be explained. There are no words for it. I'm thrilled to death and I'm already planning a babyshower! Because of this, I'm going to switch rooms and move into the empty room and Meg will move into my current room. My room is warmer and she needs a warmer room. I'm actually kind of excited to move rooms. It's silly. It's been my room for 15 years and while I'll miss it, I look forward for the change. Change is a good thing. Sometimes, I get stuck in these ruts and I can't get out for a while. Like I said, it's silly but I look forward to the change. The "move" is making me purge and get rid of crap that I don't need. We'll be repaiting the empty room to the green that I want. Then, we'll move all my stuff over. After that, we'll tear all the carpet out and repaint my current room for Meg. Plus, we are going to clean up the garage and go through stuff in the attic and find more stuff for the garage sale. I'm liking the whole "purging" thing. It's nice to get rid of the crap you don't need anymore.
Things at work are still decent. 5 days till Jessica's wedding and I couldn't be more excited about it finally being here and being over with. All the stress and fighting and hoopla will hopefully end soon. Hopefully is the key word. We'll see what the followings days and weeks bring. I've been emailing my resume but I haven't heard back from anyone. No one is hiring in this area. It's depressing sometimes but I know that God has big plans for me and when He is ready, He'll let me in on some of the plans. Until then, I'll keep on keeping on and keep on praying. Something will work out soon.
I plan on always ending this blog on a positive note. I've been told that I always know the right things to say at the right time and they always help. SO, I really hope that it will make a difference in someones life. Which is why the url for this blog is called "Vicki's Little Wisdoms". I have a book full of quotes and bible verses that I've collected.
"Life is tough. I recommend getting a manicure and a really cute helmet."
Dream big, kids!
Things have changed in life and I couldn't be more excited. I'm going to be an aunt! Officially an aunt...not just one of my friends whose kids call me aunt Vicki. Not that I think any less of those that do! The joy this brings to my heart simply can't be explained. There are no words for it. I'm thrilled to death and I'm already planning a babyshower! Because of this, I'm going to switch rooms and move into the empty room and Meg will move into my current room. My room is warmer and she needs a warmer room. I'm actually kind of excited to move rooms. It's silly. It's been my room for 15 years and while I'll miss it, I look forward for the change. Change is a good thing. Sometimes, I get stuck in these ruts and I can't get out for a while. Like I said, it's silly but I look forward to the change. The "move" is making me purge and get rid of crap that I don't need. We'll be repaiting the empty room to the green that I want. Then, we'll move all my stuff over. After that, we'll tear all the carpet out and repaint my current room for Meg. Plus, we are going to clean up the garage and go through stuff in the attic and find more stuff for the garage sale. I'm liking the whole "purging" thing. It's nice to get rid of the crap you don't need anymore.
Things at work are still decent. 5 days till Jessica's wedding and I couldn't be more excited about it finally being here and being over with. All the stress and fighting and hoopla will hopefully end soon. Hopefully is the key word. We'll see what the followings days and weeks bring. I've been emailing my resume but I haven't heard back from anyone. No one is hiring in this area. It's depressing sometimes but I know that God has big plans for me and when He is ready, He'll let me in on some of the plans. Until then, I'll keep on keeping on and keep on praying. Something will work out soon.
I plan on always ending this blog on a positive note. I've been told that I always know the right things to say at the right time and they always help. SO, I really hope that it will make a difference in someones life. Which is why the url for this blog is called "Vicki's Little Wisdoms". I have a book full of quotes and bible verses that I've collected.
"Life is tough. I recommend getting a manicure and a really cute helmet."
Dream big, kids!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
